Leadership Values

Do I Trust Me?

One of the keys to a successful relationship is to have trust.

I realized that in order for my friends, family or partner to trust me, I need to first trust myself.

I come from a typical Asian family where failure is a path in which you try to avoid. The way my parents protect me from failure is by putting my ideas or choices down (with good intent) whenever I’m up to something that requires risk-taking. Because of that, I started to build up a habit of not trusting my own decisions because it seemed like I was always making the wrong decisions.
This led me to depend on basing my decision-making skills on external affirmation and feedback from my family and friends.
When people doubt my plans, I’ll be disappointed at myself, thinking that I didn’t think it through and will be too scared to take risks to carry out my plans even though deep down inside, I believed it was a good plan.

I was challenged by my coach to reframe my perception of trust from it being something I’m afraid of to it being something I can gain from.

After much thought, self-reflection and digging-in to my deepest most being by asking myself all the why’s, I concluded with four key points I can gain when I trust:

  1. Trust helps us tear down walls. It helps us appreciate and see the beauty in others which means we should also be tearing down our own walls, appreciating ourselves and be focused on who we want to be each day when we wake up – I want to be a confident decision-maker!
  2. Trust catches us when we fall. In order for us to trust others to catch us, we need to have child-like trust. Seeing the father catching his daughter in the picture above brought back my own memories. My father would toss me up in the air and I would squeal with laughter, my heart so full with happiness and excitement. I wasn’t scared and never doubted whether my father would catch me, I was just focused on that moment and enjoyed every bit of it.
  3. Trust helps us jump over hurdles and obstacles. When we trust each other, we motivate, encourage, lend our strengths and stand by each other through challenges until we come out victorious.
  4. Trust is like a workout with a protein shake. When we workout and take our protein, we expedite our muscle gains. Similar to trust, the more we put in conscious effort to apply trust in our lives, we’ll build up ‘muscles’ that will give us the strength to take risks and be more open to the people we care about.

As a conclusion, trust cannot be built overnight. We need to consistently put in thoughtful effort to understand how trust can be beneficial in our relationships with others and once we establish that trust, it will propel our relationships to the next level.

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